Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Respect Your Husband Revisited Pt. 1


I wrote a post in 2007 that is still receiving comments from ladies who have been struggling in this area for various reasons. I thought I would revisit the concept of respecting our husbands and various ways we can do that.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is a lesson almost everyone Christian or not has been taught. This guideline is found in Matthew 7:12 which reads "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." This is a wonderful guideline and most often we try and apply it in our daily lives but how often do we apply it to our own husbands?

Treating your husband with respect also means treating him as you would like to be treated. In the next few posts we are going to look at ways we can and should be doing this.

First off let's look at the things we say. Proverbs 31:26 in describing the virtuous woman says "She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness" How I wish that were always true of me. Often we fail to realize that our husbands have feelings and they can be hurt. We tend to see our men as tough and thick skinned so sometimes we don't think about what we say. Sadly I have heard some women called their husbands fat and go on about it and in front of others! How would you feel if your hubby said to you - Look at that gut! What a belly! You gotta do some crunches Flabby!" Now imagine him doing that in front of a group of people! Goodness - I would just shrivel up! That would hurt alot. It hurts men too, though they may not let it show. Even if it is something they kid about don't do it. Often men kid about things as a defense mechanism to hide their insecurity or bad feelings about something. It is our job to make our men feel good about themselves, to build them up, encourage and love them.

Another area where we tend to show disrespect is when we bark orders at our hubbies or nag them to do things. Take a moment to think about it before you ask your husband to do something. Is what you are about to say the way you would like to be spoken to? Would those words make you want to do what is being asked of you?
In the book Total Woman Marabel Morgan relates her experience with nagging. She would always nag her husband to take out the garbage. Their marriage had hit bottom and she resolved to try and fix it so as a start she stopped nagging. No matter how much it killed her she wouldn't do it she asked him nicely once and then resolved to leave it at that. To her surprise he hubby took out the garbage without her nagging him. No one likes to be nagged and pestered. Just stop. Ask him nicely once and leave it at that. He will follow through if you leave him to it. IF he doesn't want is the worst that can happen? I am sure that as he realizes you aren't going to pester him and nag he will have a desire to do the things you ask of him and be happy to do it!

There may be other areas that you can see where the things you say show you do not respect your husband, where you can see that the law of kindness is not in your tongue and you are not opening your mouth with wisdom. Work on it. Speak to your husband the way you would like to be spoken to. It will make a huge difference in your marriage.

Next post we will look at the things we do.

Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Chocolate Cake

My aunt gave me this recipe when I was first married and I make it quite often. It is easy and inexpensive. I think some may call it a depression era cake, my aunt calls it a pan cake since you mix it in the pan.

Pan Cake - Barb Erb

1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
3 tbsp. cocoa
5 tbsp. melted margarine or butter
1 tsp. vinegar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup warm water

Mix dry ing. in a pan (8" or 9")
Make 3 holes or wells put butter in one, vinegar in one and vanilla in one.
Pour water over the top and mix well.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until it tests done.

Note - I always double the recipe and make a 9x13 cake.

Fudgy Cocoa Frosting

3 tbsp. melted butter or margarine
1/4 cup cocoa
1/4 cup milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
2 cups icing sugar (or more depending on what consistency you like)

Combine butter and cocoa.
Blend in milk, vanilla and icing sugar until smooth.
Will frost a 9x13 cake.

Blessings,
Liisa

Biscuits

Here is the recipe I use for biscuits...it's the best one I have found. However if anyone has a good recipe for buttermilk biscuits they would like to share I would appreciate it! We had wonderful biscuits at Bob Evans the last time we were in Michigan and I would love to be able to make biscuits like that. Anyway, here is the recipe I use now...

Biscuits

2 1/4 cups flour
1 tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup milk

Stir together flour, baking powder and salt.
Using a pastry blender cut in the shortening then pour milk over all and blend well.
You can roll and cut out the biscuits but I usually just grab blobs roll them into balls and flatten on the sheet.
Place on an ungreased sheet and bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes.
Enjoy!

Blessings,
Liisa

Deer Hunting


Yesterday was the first day of deer hunting season so my hubby and son left at 6:15a.m. to meet up with the other men in their hunt club. It was a chilly day here so I decided to make them some stew in the crockpot for dinner that way it would be nice and hot whenever they arrived home. I know from last year that they usually come home frozen, often wet and utterly exhausted so a hot meal ready to go is just the thing ~smile~.

I am sure my stew recipe is on here somewhere but I just basically put some cubed beef (I like small chunks), diced carrots, celery, peppers and potatoes in the crockpot with 2 big cans of diced tomatoes, 2 cans of gingerale and 2 packets of onion soup mix and cook it all day. Sunday at church we were blessed with a rutabaga (there were several on a table with note saying "please help yourself to a rutabaga" so I did ~smile~) So this time I added that in diced fairly small as well...it was good and I think my son must have just thought it was potatoes because he ate it without any questions or complaints. He's 19 but he is still a picky eater when it comes to veggies!

Yesterday I also made some iced cookies, and chocolate pudding for dessert. I was glad because my men came home HUNGRY!

While I was in the kitchen I also decided to make some meatloaves to use as lunch meat. My guys love meatloaf sandwiches and so do I. On the weekend I bought 2 half pound packages of lunch meat from the deli at the supermarket and it cost me just about $10. I bought 2 pounds of ground beef and one pound of ground pork for about $7. It really does save a ton of money to cook meats at home for sandwiches. Just look at the price per pound for raw chicken, turkey, beef, ham etc. and then look at the cost per pound at the deli counter. Besides it is so much healthier to cook it yourself. So no more quick trips to the deli counter to save time for me!

Today my son had to go back to work but my hubby is out hunting. Tonight we are having the leftover stew since I can reheat it in the crockpot and easily keep it warm for whenever hubby arrives. I am also going to make some biscuits to go along with it and a chocolate cake for dessert (recipe post to come).

Have a wonderful day!
Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Life Changes


I know I posted awhile ago...seems like a lifetime ago ~smile~....about no longer being able to care for children in our home due to my medical issues and wondering what my next step would be. I just thought I would give an update on that.

I did look into a retraining program which is an awesome program that the government has to pay for people to be retrained when they are no longer able to do the job they were doing because of layoffs, medical issues etc. I was in the midst of applying for this when it occured to me that it just wasn't the right thing for me to do. I had been having mixed feelings since the beginning and the more I got into it the worse the feelings got, so for various other reasons as well I let that plan go.

I couldn't figure out what kind of job I would be able to do without lifting anything and also one where I could still be here for my family, look after our home and have the freedom to have time off when my hubby did. Those kind of jobs are mighty hard to come by! ~smile~

Then I realized that when I was working outside the home the kind of work I enjoyed most were the times I was cleaning and organizing. Then it occured to me that I can clean my own house with slight modifications to how I do things to make sure I don't lift anything heavy so why couldn't I do that at other peoples houses as well?

So that is just what I did. I placed an ad in the paper for a couple of weeks and put up ads in the two grocery stores. The result is that through the additional help of word of mouth my schedule is almost full of clients and I am loving my new job! I am still here to look after things at home, care for my family and am still able to have time off whenever I need it. As an added bonus all my clients are in town so I do not need a vehicle to get to and from work and I will not have to drive the highways in the winter. Both of those were added concerns of getting a job outside of the home, since so many others in our area have to travel to other towns for their jobs.

It has been a hard few months getting my life back on track and changing churches in the midst of it all was tough too but we are on the other side of it all now and life is great! God is so good to us, to lead us onto the right path for our family and to also bring us to a church where we can worship together as a whole family for the very first time....what an incredible blessing that is. How grateful I am.

Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Friends


I read something a few weeks ago that really hit home for me. It was on a plaque in a shop and it said "Don't let grass grow on the path of friendship."

Wow...what a picture that paints for me of a long neglected path winding through the woods of life overgrown with the grass of neglect.

I realized that due to my life being hectic and so many changes going on that I had let that happen to my friendships...and at a time when I really needed them most!

I had been talking to my hubby about how much I need fellowship with other Christian women and lamenting the fact that our new church is in another town and we do not have much opportunity to really spend time with the people there outside of Sunday services. Then I realized that perhaps the reason that I had been feeling the need for fellowship so strongly is because I had let friendships go in my life.

One of my friends and I recently saw each other at a funeral for another dear friend. We realized that the last time we saw each other was at another funeral several monthes earlier! How awful that is!

One of my other close friends I used to talk to almost every morning on the phone before my family was up and after her hubby left to go work on the farm....I somehow haven't found the time to even fit in a phone call. ~sigh~

Life has been busy, full of change, issues that have bogged me down for a time and all those things have been hard and kept things hectic but it is long past time I broke out the lawn mower and cleared those paths of friendship! How thankful I am to have realized this before the paths had grown over to the point of being impossible to find again.

Do you have any paths you need to clear? ~smile~
Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Monday, August 2, 2010

Soup Kitchen

This morning I am going to help at the local soup kitchen and I thought I might share a bit about it in the hopes that others will start the same type of ministry.

This one all started when there was a fire downtown. It took out two buildings and damaged others before the firefighters were able to get it out. The fire started around 7:30 in the morning and I called my friend to let her know what was going on as she lives outside of town. We realized that there were people displaced who lived in those buildings and needed somewhere to go while this was going on. My friend Nancy contacted her pastor and the doors of her church were opened to anyone in need. Food and coffee were served to those poor people and over the next few days it became obvious that there was a bigger need here. These people did not have much and were often making use of the food banks to get through the month.

It was then that the idea of the soup kitchen came to Nancy - why not help these people and any others that may have a need on an ongoing basis. With church approval she opened the doors of "Soup and More". These loving people serve meals from 11-2 on Mondays and Wednesdays. The media got involved and donations and food have been pouring into this little church from all over the county. Volunteers come from many different churches to help and the people both those helping and those coming have been blessed!

As the name indicates this ministry is about more than food. Volunteers spend time with these people sharing their troubles and their lives and most importantly sharing the gospel. A couple who has been there from the first meal the day of the fire has been faithfully attending church every Sunday and every other time the doors are open! A man known as "the biggest drug dealer in town" has accepted the Lord! So many people are being reached that no one has been able to reach before. Hearts and lives are being changed!

We were all unaware of the needs in our own town before that fire. We had no idea that there were homeless people in our town, that people were going hungry for days with no money to purchase food for even the most basic meals. We live in a prosperous little town in the middle of farm country. We were blind to the needs around us.

Perhaps you or someone you know would like to start this type of ministry! Pray about and seek God's will! ~smile~

Blessings,
Liisa

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Let Your Light Shine!


“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."

These words are found in Matthew 5:14-16. One thing we need to always remember is that the lost are watching us. Be honest when they see you are they seeing the light of Christ in your life? How can we let our light shine?

Appearance. This is one key way. When people look at you are they thinking what a lovely woman, what a modest woman, what a clean woman, what a well dressed woman or are they thinking EEEWWWW! or holy moly her whole chest is going to fall out of that top, or wow that woman should not be wearing that outfit or she looks like she just crawled out of bed. There is no excuse for dressing poorly. You may have a house full of little ones- this is no reason to appear in public in pajama pants and slippers. It takes no more time to toss on a nice easy care outfit than pj's. You may not have much money... no excuse - I always shop for my clothing second hand. You can find beautiful clothes in pristine condition if you just look. You may feel that you look your best in super tight clothing and revealing skirts and tops - you don't. You are leading men to sin by wearing that kind of clothing.
Matthew 5:27- 30 says...
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
Strong warning isn't it.

You have heard the saying "cleanliness is next to godliness" Well, cleanliness is so important in your appearance. In the image you project to others. Take care with your personal grooming. Strive to always look your best. You are an ambassador after all!
Smile, be happy, let it show! You are a child of God! There is no need to run around looking put out, or grumpy, or with a frown on your face all the time. Life throws us tough stuff sometimes but when you are having good days let the world know! There is a lady in town that my son used to call "the smile lady" when he was small. Whenever you see her she is smiling. It makes you want what she has! Even a small child had noticed this!

Your speech is another way your light shines before men. When you speak be sure you words are sweet and full of love not harsh or crude. There is never a need for "potty words". The way you talk shows the condition of your heart.If your heart is not right the things you say won't be. Honesty falls into this category as well. If you lie to someone one day are they going to trust you when you tell them about God the next?

Your actions. In all you do, do it for the glory of God. When you work, work hard. When you are having fun be sure it is good, clean fun not something you would be ashamed to do before Jesus. When you encounter people be open and friendly. Reach out to those in need, to your neighbours, to those you meet each day. A simple smile and "good morning" can brighten someone's day. Be open and take time to talk. You may have noticed the lonely older lady waiting in line, strike up a conversation. The over worked mother of young ones can use a soft word of encouragement. There are so many opportunities each day to be kind, don't let them pass you by. If you can go even further and volunteer somewhere. Not everyone is at the stage in life where they can be free to do this (remember your home, hubby and family come first)but if you do have a bit of free time bring some light to a seniors home, help at a school, charity shop etc. You never know who God will place in your path!

Through these things you may be given the opportunity to speak to someone about the gospel. People are drawn in to the light of Christ, they can see it in you when you let it shine before men and they will want what you have!

Let your light shine!
Blessings,
Liisa

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Temptations


No not the singing group! ~smile~ This morning in the email study I send out we are reading Matthew chapter 4 and that got me thinking about temptation. Here are some thoughts that were running through my mind and some scriptures I found....

We all face temptations and some are really really hard to deal with and resist. God however knows this. These verses are speaking about Jesus.

Hebrews 2:18
For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted.
Hebrews 4:15
For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Isn't that amazing news....Jesus understands and is able to help us! Some I know think if they are tempted that they should be ashamed and try to hide it but you cannot hide from God. He sympathizes with our weakness, He is able to help us!

How can we get that help? These verses explain that we should pray and ask for help. Lay it out. Be honest. He knows all about everything anyway.

Matthew 6:13
And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Resisting temptations and growing stronger moves us further down the narrow path, toward God. Trials and temptations are no fun but can be necessary for Christian growth. The good news is the Bible tells us God is in control and won't allow to be tempted beyond what we an bear.

James 1:12
[ Loving God Under Trials ] Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

We need to know where these temptations are coming from. God allows it and won't let us be tempted beyond what we can bear but they do not come from Him.

James 1:13-15
Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.


What else can we do....well this verse makes it clear that we need to watch ourselves when we are with others. Certainly we want to help the lost but we need to be so careful that we are not pulled down with them. It is so easy to pick up the habits of those we spend time with to spite our best efforts. I truly believe that bad association can cause you to fall away if you are not careful. My advice would be to limit time spent with those whose behaviour leads you astray and when you are together use that time to try and draw them away from sinfulness and toward God. If you are worried about them not being your friend were they ever if they'd leave you over refusal to partake in activities or behaviours you know are wrong? One more thing to think about is that we as Christians are to be a light to the world in order that others may be drawn to us and be saved from eternal torment in hell. This is no joke. If you love your friends help them. What kind of light are we when we are running around in the darkness ourselves? Some people refuse Christianity because they see that the Christians they know are hypocrites. They go to church on Sunday and act very religious, or act that way around their pastor or church friends but the minute they aren't they are wallowing in the same pit of worldliness and sin as the unsaved. The lost are watching us. They are looking to see if life as a Christian is worth the effort. They want to know what difference God has made in our lives. What do they see when they look at you?
Galatians 6:1
[ Bear and Share the Burdens ] Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

Blessings,
Liisa

Friday, July 16, 2010

Baby Sloth

Isn't he cute! Just had to share! ~smile~


Blessings,
Liisa

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Work Outside the Home?


I find myself in an icky place :( I had surgery to correct some "womanly issues" two months ago. I took those two months off from babysitting in order to recover. I had planned to welcome the little ones back next week. That won't be happening now. I received the terrible news that will no longer be able to care for children as I can no longer do any lifting. It took me quite awhile to be able to mention it without crying and even now if I think about it too much I cry again. No more little ones. We were only blessed with one child and childcare was a way for me to still have the house full of children I longed for. That is gone now.

Sooo, after all these years I need to find employment doing something where I won't have to lift anything. All the time I worked outside the home I longed desperately to return home full time. I had started working outside the home when my son went to grade one and I so regretted it but found myself (as I am sure many women do) stuck there. Suddenly we "needed" my income. And now here we are needing my income and I don't have any!

My sister has suggested I apply for a retraining program. This would be fine as I have notes from my doctor and the agency I worked for stating that I need retraining but retraining to do what?

My whole life all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. All my high school courses were geared toward that goal. I took every single home ec. course I could! I never wanted a career, I never wanted to work outside the home.

When I became a Christian I read in the Bible that God means for women to be "Keepers at Home" How can you be a keeper at home if you are not at home?

I am praying and trusting God for His leading as I know He knew about all this before it ever happened and that He has a plan for me. How grateful I am for my relationship with Him. I could not imagine what it would be like to face uncertainty without God. To have my life turned upside down without the assurance that God is with me through it all and that just because one door closed doesn't mean a new and better one won't open. Only He knows what lies ahead...I wait and I trust.

Blessings,
Liisa

P.S. I welcome any thoughts and ideas you may have. ~smile~

The Key to Happiness




There is a great hymn that speaks of the true key to happiness, Trust and Obey, the chorus goes...

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Psalm 128:1,2 says Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thy hands, happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.

So basically fear the Lord and walk in his ways and you will be happy. Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus.

God loves us and wants us to be happy. He longs for a close relationship with us. We can have that by praying often, talking to Our Father about all our concerns, pouring out our love and praise to Him; just talking to Him and spending time in quiet reflection and heeding His leadings. Another way is by reading His Word the Bible faithfully. It is life's instruction manual. By reading it and thinking about it we will learn God's ways so we can walk in them.

This is no guarantee however that life will always be sunshine and chocolate bars ( yeah I know that should be bubblegum or lollipops but who wouldn't rather have chocolate ~smile~). Everyone will go through hard times, times of sorrow and disappointment but there is a difference for the Christian. When we go through these times we can call out to God and cast all our cares upon Him for He cares for us (1Peter 5:7) Neh. 8:10 tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength. When we face these hard times we can still have joy and strength through the Lord. Joy is deep down not a fleeting emotion.

So, how do we get the joy of the Lord...well let me tell you! Gal. 5:22 says that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekeness and temperance. Joy is one of the fruit of the Spirit. Fruit of the Spirit means when you have the Holy Spirit and allow Him to work fully in your life, obeying Him then your life will bear the fruit of that relationship and you will have that fruit in your life. Isn't that wonderful! What a blessing!

There are possible blockages to a Spirit filled life such as unconfessed sin, purposefully sinful behaviour etc. If you are struggling talk to your pastor. If you don't have any blockages you know of and yet are not bearing fruit talk to your pastor. He is there to help you. If you don't have a pastor yet call a church, they will be overjoyed to help you through this! Believe me you will make their day!

* One note is that I am in no way talking about depression here. If you are depressed and are under a doctor's care then that is a whole other issue. Do not feel that if you are clinically depressed or are taking medication that makes you less of a Christian. That is absolutely not true. That is a medical condition and God provided us with doctors for a reason. If you are struggling hard with depression and have not yet spoken to your doctor then please do so right away, talk to your pastor too he is there to help you through all life's struggles - that is after all his job.

Have a Happy Wednesday! Trust and Obey!
Blessings,
Liisa


Trust and Obey

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;

Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.
But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;

For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Worry Wart


wor·ry·wart (wûrˈē-wôrt)

noun
One who worries excessively and needlessly.

Hmmm....worry wart....it doesn't call up the nicest image does it, not when you really think about it. I just keep picturing a big old wart sitting there worrying. Eeewwwww!

Well I am in fact a worry wart. I worry about everything. I have even started worrying about worrying! I am one of those people that have to run back in the house to be sure they turned off the oven which perhaps they hadn't even used that morning much to the annoyance of their sweet and loving hubby. I have even gotten out of bed and gone down to the basement to make sure that the dryer really is off when my hubby had already assured me it was. I never used to worry this much. My aunt has this same trouble only worse and my grandmother has it too only an even worse version. Hence the reason I worry about worrying.

I was discussing my problem with my friend and she told me that her prayer group used to have a saying "If you pray why worry and if you worry why pray?" Hmmm....that is loaded isn't it! It is so true! And so I am striving to stop all the needless worrying.

I do pray often and for everything and I am learning to trust God even more fully and rest in the fact that He works all things together for the good of those that love Him. (Rom.8:28) He is good and wonderful and I love Him so much and how grateful I am that He loves me even though I may be a bit of a wart. (Eeewww!)
~smile~

"If you pray why worry and if you worry why pray?"

Blessings,
Liisa

Monday, July 12, 2010

Respect Your Husband



(This post originally appeared in 2007 but as I still receive comments on it and I feel it is an important message I decided to re-post it now ~smile~)

Respect is so important to a happy marriage. Many women don't respect their husbands and it shows in everything they do. When you don't respect your husband you are likely to talk down to him, treat him like he's an idiot or one of the children.

There is a stereotype of the poor stupid man who is not capable of the simplest task without the explicit instructions from his wife which he usually messes up anyway. This stereotype is promoted in most sitcoms and commercials and even children's programs' and story books.

There is also the phenomenon known as man bashing. Women get together and discuss the faults, mistakes and shortcomings of their men. I used to join in wholeheartedly much to my shame. I also used to make derogatory comments about my husband in front of him and others all in the name of humour. How hurtful those comments can be and how I regret every one I made.

It is important that your husband receives the respect he deserves. Make him feel he's special and important because he is. You may be thinking that your husband has to earn your respect. His position as the man you chose to be your husband entitles him to that respect. Believe me if you always tell someone they can't do anything right or point out their faults they will eventually start to believe you and act the way they are expected to. But if you build them up they will live up to it.

If you build up your husband and make him feel respected and important then he will not be so susceptible to comments from other women that stroke his ego.One comment I've heard from men who cheated or left their wives is that they got no respect at home. So when a woman comes along, perhaps at work who tells him he is great, appreciates his work, tells him he can do anything, has confidence in him and treats him with respect he is seduced by that if he is not getting it at home. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves.

Another helpful reminder is to not attempt to boss your husband around. He is a grown man, not a child. He is fully capable of completing tasks and making decisions. Take a look at how you and your husband interact. Do you bark orders at your husband? Do you explain things to him like he is a child? Do you always tell him what he can and cannot do? Do you try and control all his free time - do you tell him how he must spend it?

Treat your husband as he deserves to be treated. Let's build our men up and not tear them down. In turn you will gain a husband that lives up to your respect and loves you even more than ever before.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Liisa

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Great Pretender

"Oh yes I'm the great pretender..." Perhaps you are familiar with this song. The words sung by The Platters resonate with me for I was once a great pretender.

For much of my early Christian life I struggled hard with temptations - falling often and making mistake after mistake. every day would find me begging for forgiveness. Thankfully God is faithful, loving and does forgive. During this time I often felt unworthy but I realize in looking back that this was a normal time of growth and finding my way along the path to Christian maturity. My time as the reigning Great Pretender did not come until much later.

Some people have looked at me and felt I was a "good Christian" and even told me so. I seemed on the surface to have it all together....faithful church attendance, volunteering and helping in every way I could, dressing the "right way" adhering to all the church rules and standards at least the superficial ones. I talked the talk and to all appearances walked the walk but deep inside, in my heart I was no longer walking with the Lord. It happened gradually - kind of snuck up on me but one day I realized my Christian life was just a show...a role I was playing. I still loved the Lord but I had somehow stepped away from the close loving and all consuming relationship with Him and yet I pretended everything was fine. I mean hey what else could I do - everyone thought I was a wonderful, mature Christian how could I let on that I was a fake? How could I admit something was terribly wrong? SO I stumbled along trying to make things right but only succeeding in putting on a bigger show...."Oh yes I'm the Great Pretender....."

One day though praise the Lord someone admitted to me that they were in the same situation I was. Wow! It was time for me to confess to the charade I had been living. Oh the freedom in finally being honest! It was through that admission that I was able to let go of all the false pretenses, get on my knees and pray form the heart. I realized that I had become more concerned with pleasing man than pleasing God. I had put people's opinions ahead of healing my relationship with God. What a fool to say the least. I am pleased to say that I am now closer than ever to my Saviour all pretenses are gone. That is why I writing this - I resign my role as the Great Pretender - I am not some perfect person who has it all together. I am just Liisa - who loves the Lord with all her heart and is still stumbling down this narrow path called Christianity.

If you have been pretending...if things are not right...take steps now to shake off the role as a great pretender. Get honest, be real.

There is absolutely no shame in speaking to your Pastor - it is the very best thing to do. He can help you get back and get real. The whole world need not know but seek help. How grateful I am to my friend who was brave enough to share their struggle with me and thereby help me out of the pit I had fallen into.

Get honest. Be real.

Blessings,
Liisa



Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Pretending I’m doing well
My need is such I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

Yes I’m the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I’m not you see
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re still around


Too real when I feel what my heart can’t conceal

Oh yes I’m the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I’m not you see
I’m wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you’re
Pretending that you’re still around