Lately I have had a couple of Moms express their frustration with getting themselves and their little ones ready in the morning. One mother of two said she couldn't imagine having to do it alone, she says her hubby helps her and it still isn't easy.
I thought I would share some things that will help with morning mayhem for any others that may be struggling with this same problem.
The very first thing is that your children need to respect you and your authority. It doesn't take long for those sweet little monkeys to figure out that they will get their way and can do as they please if the parents relent, do everything for them, threaten and don't follow through or give in to whining and temper tantrums. The worst thing you can do is to use a bribe when a child is being naughty - that is essentially rewarding poor behaviour and they will quickly learn that if they act poorly they will get a bribe to be good.
You need to avoid those things and speak firmly and seriously. If they refuse to listen or throw a fit then perhaps they need a time out to think about things and calm down. Keep repeating time outs for inappropriate behaviour. If your little ones are resistant start this re- training on the weekend and not when you have 15 minutes to be in the car. Being consistent is everything. In some cases it may take awhile to get the little ones on the right track but it will be so worth it. In every circumstance be consistent. No matter where you are or how rushed you are be consistent. It really does not take long for children to learn what is expected of them and how to behave properly when they receive constant and consistent training. They will love you and respect you for it. This does not mean you need to become a drill sergeant all the time it just means that if you ask your little one to do something nicely and they refuse you ask them again a little firmer. If they do not respond well then they receive a time out - there shouldn't be a need for any yelling just firm but gentle direction.
Next is organization. The night before pack bags, lunches etc. Set what you can near the door or even right in the car. Set your clothes, shoes, accessories make up etc. out the night before. Get your little ones to help pick out their clothes for the morning, this will stop any arguments about not wanting to wear a certain item, you can simply remind the child that they picked it out and the next morning they can choose again to wear something else. If you are worried about matching then make up complete outfits and put them on hangers then you can have them choose an already together outfit. If they are old enough to dress themselves then put the clothes where they can reach and they will be able to get up and get dressed on their own. Put out undies, socks, shoes and hair bows etc.
Know before bed what you will serve for breakfast, set the table and prepare ahead anything you can. If you have monkeys that are picky in the morning then before bedtime give them two choices for what they will have for breakfast. Then in the morning remind them that they picked it and that they will be given the opportunity to choose again for the next day. If you have more than one child then they take turns picking - do not get caught up in making 6 different breakfasts each morning. If it becomes too much then just choose one thing yourself and that is what is for breakfast, if they don't eat it they will not starve. Snack time is only an hour or two away.
Lists save me so much time and help me sleep better because I don't lay in bed wondering about what I need to do the next day and worrying I'll forget something. I also have a notebook beside my bed in case I remember something as I am going to bed. Make a to do/ to remember list for each day. Write a morning checklist as well so you can be sure you've got everything and done everything and you will save time running around.
As soon as they are able encourage your children to do things for themselves. The more they can do the easier it will be on you. Don't underestimate their abilities give them opportunities to try things on their own when you aren't pressed for time.
Routine is so important with children. Do the same thing in the same order everyday. They will know what comes next and what is expected of them and this gives them a sense of calm and security. They will naturally move through tasks on their own with little prompting after time.
The final key to morning success is to get up in plenty of time so you will not end up rushed and frustrated. Getting up even an hour earlier will be worth it to get yourself ready unrushed and then be able to help your children without all the stress.
All these things take effort but it is so worth it for you and your children to have peaceful stress free mornings.
Blessings,
Liisa
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