Respect Your Husband Revisited Pt. 1

I wrote a post in 2007 that is still receiving comments from ladies who have been struggling in this area for various reasons. I thought I would revisit the concept of respecting our husbands and various ways we can do that.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is a lesson almost everyone Christian or not has been taught. This guideline is found in Matthew 7:12 which reads "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." This is a wonderful guideline and most often we try and apply it in our daily lives but how often do we apply it to our own husbands?

Treating your husband with respect also means treating him as you would like to be treated. In the next few posts we are going to look at ways we can and should be doing this.

First off let's look at the things we say. Proverbs 31:26 in describing the virtuous woman says "She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness" How I wish that were always true of me. Often we fail to realize that our husbands have feelings and they can be hurt. We tend to see our men as tough and thick skinned so sometimes we don't think about what we say. Sadly I have heard some women called their husbands fat and go on about it and in front of others! How would you feel if your hubby said to you - Look at that gut! What a belly! You gotta do some crunches Flabby!" Now imagine him doing that in front of a group of people! Goodness - I would just shrivel up! That would hurt alot. It hurts men too, though they may not let it show. Even if it is something they kid about don't do it. Often men kid about things as a defense mechanism to hide their insecurity or bad feelings about something. It is our job to make our men feel good about themselves, to build them up, encourage and love them.

Another area where we tend to show disrespect is when we bark orders at our hubbies or nag them to do things. Take a moment to think about it before you ask your husband to do something. Is what you are about to say the way you would like to be spoken to? Would those words make you want to do what is being asked of you?
In the book Total Woman Marabel Morgan relates her experience with nagging. She would always nag her husband to take out the garbage. Their marriage had hit bottom and she resolved to try and fix it so as a start she stopped nagging. No matter how much it killed her she wouldn't do it she asked him nicely once and then resolved to leave it at that. To her surprise he hubby took out the garbage without her nagging him. No one likes to be nagged and pestered. Just stop. Ask him nicely once and leave it at that. He will follow through if you leave him to it. IF he doesn't want is the worst that can happen? I am sure that as he realizes you aren't going to pester him and nag he will have a desire to do the things you ask of him and be happy to do it!

There may be other areas that you can see where the things you say show you do not respect your husband, where you can see that the law of kindness is not in your tongue and you are not opening your mouth with wisdom. Work on it. Speak to your husband the way you would like to be spoken to. It will make a huge difference in your marriage.

Next post we will look at the things we do.

Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Chocolate Cake

My aunt gave me this recipe when I was first married and I make it quite often. It is easy and inexpensive. I think some may call it a depression era cake, my aunt calls it a pan cake since you mix it in the pan.

Pan Cake - Barb Erb

1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
3 tbsp. cocoa
5 tbsp. melted margarine or butter
1 tsp. vinegar
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup warm water

Mix dry ing. in a pan (8" or 9")
Make 3 holes or wells put butter in one, vinegar in one and vanilla in one.
Pour water over the top and mix well.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until it tests done.

Note - I always double the recipe and make a 9x13 cake.

Fudgy Cocoa Frosting

3 tbsp. melted butter or margarine
1/4 cup cocoa
1/4 cup milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
2 cups icing sugar (or more depending on what consistency you like)

Combine butter and cocoa.
Blend in milk, vanilla and icing sugar until smooth.
Will frost a 9x13 cake.

Blessings,
Liisa

Biscuits

Here is the recipe I use for biscuits...it's the best one I have found. However if anyone has a good recipe for buttermilk biscuits they would like to share I would appreciate it! We had wonderful biscuits at Bob Evans the last time we were in Michigan and I would love to be able to make biscuits like that. Anyway, here is the recipe I use now...

Biscuits

2 1/4 cups flour
1 tbsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup milk

Stir together flour, baking powder and salt.
Using a pastry blender cut in the shortening then pour milk over all and blend well.
You can roll and cut out the biscuits but I usually just grab blobs roll them into balls and flatten on the sheet.
Place on an ungreased sheet and bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes.
Enjoy!

Blessings,
Liisa

Deer Hunting

Yesterday was the first day of deer hunting season so my hubby and son left at 6:15a.m. to meet up with the other men in their hunt club. It was a chilly day here so I decided to make them some stew in the crockpot for dinner that way it would be nice and hot whenever they arrived home. I know from last year that they usually come home frozen, often wet and utterly exhausted so a hot meal ready to go is just the thing ~smile~.

I am sure my stew recipe is on here somewhere but I just basically put some cubed beef (I like small chunks), diced carrots, celery, peppers and potatoes in the crockpot with 2 big cans of diced tomatoes, 2 cans of gingerale and 2 packets of onion soup mix and cook it all day. Sunday at church we were blessed with a rutabaga (there were several on a table with note saying "please help yourself to a rutabaga" so I did ~smile~) So this time I added that in diced fairly small as well...it was good and I think my son must have just thought it was potatoes because he ate it without any questions or complaints. He's 19 but he is still a picky eater when it comes to veggies!

Yesterday I also made some iced cookies, and chocolate pudding for dessert. I was glad because my men came home HUNGRY!

While I was in the kitchen I also decided to make some meatloaves to use as lunch meat. My guys love meatloaf sandwiches and so do I. On the weekend I bought 2 half pound packages of lunch meat from the deli at the supermarket and it cost me just about $10. I bought 2 pounds of ground beef and one pound of ground pork for about $7. It really does save a ton of money to cook meats at home for sandwiches. Just look at the price per pound for raw chicken, turkey, beef, ham etc. and then look at the cost per pound at the deli counter. Besides it is so much healthier to cook it yourself. So no more quick trips to the deli counter to save time for me!

Today my son had to go back to work but my hubby is out hunting. Tonight we are having the leftover stew since I can reheat it in the crockpot and easily keep it warm for whenever hubby arrives. I am also going to make some biscuits to go along with it and a chocolate cake for dessert (recipe post to come).

Have a wonderful day!
Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Life Changes

I know I posted awhile ago...seems like a lifetime ago ~smile~....about no longer being able to care for children in our home due to my medical issues and wondering what my next step would be. I just thought I would give an update on that.

I did look into a retraining program which is an awesome program that the government has to pay for people to be retrained when they are no longer able to do the job they were doing because of layoffs, medical issues etc. I was in the midst of applying for this when it occured to me that it just wasn't the right thing for me to do. I had been having mixed feelings since the beginning and the more I got into it the worse the feelings got, so for various other reasons as well I let that plan go.

I couldn't figure out what kind of job I would be able to do without lifting anything and also one where I could still be here for my family, look after our home and have the freedom to have time off when my hubby did. Those kind of jobs are mighty hard to come by! ~smile~

Then I realized that when I was working outside the home the kind of work I enjoyed most were the times I was cleaning and organizing. Then it occured to me that I can clean my own house with slight modifications to how I do things to make sure I don't lift anything heavy so why couldn't I do that at other peoples houses as well?

So that is just what I did. I placed an ad in the paper for a couple of weeks and put up ads in the two grocery stores. The result is that through the additional help of word of mouth my schedule is almost full of clients and I am loving my new job! I am still here to look after things at home, care for my family and am still able to have time off whenever I need it. As an added bonus all my clients are in town so I do not need a vehicle to get to and from work and I will not have to drive the highways in the winter. Both of those were added concerns of getting a job outside of the home, since so many others in our area have to travel to other towns for their jobs.

It has been a hard few months getting my life back on track and changing churches in the midst of it all was tough too but we are on the other side of it all now and life is great! God is so good to us, to lead us onto the right path for our family and to also bring us to a church where we can worship together as a whole family for the very first time....what an incredible blessing that is. How grateful I am.

Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Friends

I read something a few weeks ago that really hit home for me. It was on a plaque in a shop and it said "Don't let grass grow on the path of friendship."

Wow...what a picture that paints for me of a long neglected path winding through the woods of life overgrown with the grass of neglect.

I realized that due to my life being hectic and so many changes going on that I had let that happen to my friendships...and at a time when I really needed them most!

I had been talking to my hubby about how much I need fellowship with other Christian women and lamenting the fact that our new church is in another town and we do not have much opportunity to really spend time with the people there outside of Sunday services. Then I realized that perhaps the reason that I had been feeling the need for fellowship so strongly is because I had let friendships go in my life.

One of my friends and I recently saw each other at a funeral for another dear friend. We realized that the last time we saw each other was at another funeral several monthes earlier! How awful that is!

One of my other close friends I used to talk to almost every morning on the phone before my family was up and after her hubby left to go work on the farm....I somehow haven't found the time to even fit in a phone call. ~sigh~

Life has been busy, full of change, issues that have bogged me down for a time and all those things have been hard and kept things hectic but it is long past time I broke out the lawn mower and cleared those paths of friendship! How thankful I am to have realized this before the paths had grown over to the point of being impossible to find again.

Do you have any paths you need to clear? ~smile~
Blessings,
Liisa

Picture from www.allposters.com

Soup Kitchen

This morning I am going to help at the local soup kitchen and I thought I might share a bit about it in the hopes that others will start the same type of ministry.

This one all started when there was a fire downtown. It took out two buildings and damaged others before the firefighters were able to get it out. The fire started around 7:30 in the morning and I called my friend to let her know what was going on as she lives outside of town. We realized that there were people displaced who lived in those buildings and needed somewhere to go while this was going on. My friend Nancy contacted her pastor and the doors of her church were opened to anyone in need. Food and coffee were served to those poor people and over the next few days it became obvious that there was a bigger need here. These people did not have much and were often making use of the food banks to get through the month.

It was then that the idea of the soup kitchen came to Nancy - why not help these people and any others that may have a need on an ongoing basis. With church approval she opened the doors of "Soup and More". These loving people serve meals from 11-2 on Mondays and Wednesdays. The media got involved and donations and food have been pouring into this little church from all over the county. Volunteers come from many different churches to help and the people both those helping and those coming have been blessed!

As the name indicates this ministry is about more than food. Volunteers spend time with these people sharing their troubles and their lives and most importantly sharing the gospel. A couple who has been there from the first meal the day of the fire has been faithfully attending church every Sunday and every other time the doors are open! A man known as "the biggest drug dealer in town" has accepted the Lord! So many people are being reached that no one has been able to reach before. Hearts and lives are being changed!

We were all unaware of the needs in our own town before that fire. We had no idea that there were homeless people in our town, that people were going hungry for days with no money to purchase food for even the most basic meals. We live in a prosperous little town in the middle of farm country. We were blind to the needs around us.

Perhaps you or someone you know would like to start this type of ministry! Pray about and seek God's will! ~smile~

Blessings,
Liisa