I wrote a post in 2007 that is still receiving comments from ladies who have been struggling in this area for various reasons. I thought I would revisit the concept of respecting our husbands and various ways we can do that.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is a lesson almost everyone Christian or not has been taught. This guideline is found in Matthew 7:12 which reads "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." This is a wonderful guideline and most often we try and apply it in our daily lives but how often do we apply it to our own husbands?
Treating your husband with respect also means treating him as you would like to be treated. In the next few posts we are going to look at ways we can and should be doing this.
First off let's look at the things we say. Proverbs 31:26 in describing the virtuous woman says "She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness" How I wish that were always true of me. Often we fail to realize that our husbands have feelings and they can be hurt. We tend to see our men as tough and thick skinned so sometimes we don't think about what we say. Sadly I have heard some women called their husbands fat and go on about it and in front of others! How would you feel if your hubby said to you - Look at that gut! What a belly! You gotta do some crunches Flabby!" Now imagine him doing that in front of a group of people! Goodness - I would just shrivel up! That would hurt alot. It hurts men too, though they may not let it show. Even if it is something they kid about don't do it. Often men kid about things as a defense mechanism to hide their insecurity or bad feelings about something. It is our job to make our men feel good about themselves, to build them up, encourage and love them.
Another area where we tend to show disrespect is when we bark orders at our hubbies or nag them to do things. Take a moment to think about it before you ask your husband to do something. Is what you are about to say the way you would like to be spoken to? Would those words make you want to do what is being asked of you?
In the book Total Woman Marabel Morgan relates her experience with nagging. She would always nag her husband to take out the garbage. Their marriage had hit bottom and she resolved to try and fix it so as a start she stopped nagging. No matter how much it killed her she wouldn't do it she asked him nicely once and then resolved to leave it at that. To her surprise he hubby took out the garbage without her nagging him. No one likes to be nagged and pestered. Just stop. Ask him nicely once and leave it at that. He will follow through if you leave him to it. IF he doesn't want is the worst that can happen? I am sure that as he realizes you aren't going to pester him and nag he will have a desire to do the things you ask of him and be happy to do it!
There may be other areas that you can see where the things you say show you do not respect your husband, where you can see that the law of kindness is not in your tongue and you are not opening your mouth with wisdom. Work on it. Speak to your husband the way you would like to be spoken to. It will make a huge difference in your marriage.
Next post we will look at the things we do.
Blessings,
Liisa
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